Tales from the Porn Side

Porn Completely Poisoned Our Sex Life

Fight The New Drug is anti porn but we included it to offer a balanced opinion to give pro adult supporters the option to read what critics of the p[orn industry have to say. Do you agree? Has porn ruined your relationship?

Published Mon 2nd Jan 2017
By itsAdult / Tales from the Porn Side

Porn Completely Poisoned Our Sex Life

Fight the New Drug receives thousands of direct messages and emails from people all over the world, sharing their stories about how pornography has affected them and their loved ones.

Some of them are heartbreaking stories of damaged lives and relationships.

Some of them are positive stories of how an addiction was overcome.

Some of them are just simple shows of support to the movement.

Recently, we received a pretty heartbreaking story, sent to us by a young woman. Her story is one of a relationship robbed of all love and intimacy due to the selfish downward spiral that porn creates. We wish we could tell you that this was just a rare story from the occasional inbox message we receive. It’s not.


Dear FTND,

Porn entered my life at a very young age. I was 13 when I had my first boyfriend. Throughout our relationship I learned about my boyfriend’s “habit.” He would describe the scenes he would see in the movies he would watch. Something about it made me feel uneasy in my mind and even queasy to my stomach.

I did not question him for months, until the day we decided to have sex for the first time. We tried to be intimate but he could not achieve an erection. So he ran downstairs to watch porn while I lay there waiting for him.

He came back up the stairs aroused but as soon as he laid next to me, he lost it. This was the moment when I realized I was in a war against pornography. I felt unworthy, ugly, and humiliated. He chose porn over me. I had asked him to stop watching it, but he never could. We never ended up having sex and I broke up with him a few months later.

From that relationship on, every single experience I had with a guy involved a battle with pornography. Pornography made me feel worthless. I was never good enough for these boys that I so deeply cared about. I began to develop intense anxieties when watching any movie with a sex scene, or a naked girl, or even a girl in a bikini. It got to the point where my boyfriends could no longer watch these movies because I was so deeply traumatized and hurt by my past experiences. What would they feel if they saw a naked girl? Would they feel aroused by her? Could I compete with the girl on the screen?

Eventually, this trauma turned around and was used against me in my own mind. I eventually came to the conclusion that I had to become “more” than these porn stars. I would have to try to compete with porn stars so that my boyfriend would never watch porn again. I tried to become the “best in bed.” I would sleep around with countless men to prove a point. But just like their porn, I was used and forgotten. I was simply a one night stand. That is what I was good for. I never knew how to say no to these boys. I wanted to, but I thought if I said no, they would find something better than me. 

No matter how many men I cared for, no matter how much they told me how “beautiful” and “amazing” I was, I was in a constant battle with pornography. Men were constantly lying about their habits to me, and then I would always catch them in their lies. I spent so much time questioning them, until they finally gave in and admitted to these habits. And again, I would break down…

I fell in love with my soulmate last year. He is the sweetest and kindest guy I have ever met. I begged him from the beginning of our relationship to not watch pornography. He knew my stories. He knew my anxieties. He knew my fears. He heard me cry countless times about pornography. He knew I could not stand him watching. He promised me he would never ever hurt me like that. Yet, after a year of dating, I learned that he had been struggling with porn the whole time. After I had been fighting for over 11 years with pornography in my relationships, I just felt so hopeless. He knew about my struggles! How could he hurt me like this? How could he lie to me? How dare he make these empty promises that I believed? How could someone who I spilled my heart and soul to turn against me?

Fortunately, my boyfriend stopped watching pornography after that day, but my wounds are still very much healing. It took many, many months to start moving past this deep seeded wound. I love him so much and I had to come to realize that if I love him, I won’t just walk away. Some relationships are worth working for. I will forgive him and I will teach him, and everyone else who will listen, the harmful truths about pornography.

I am so thankful that I came across FTND. Please, please, please… I BEG YOU ALL… continue the war against pornography. DO NOT GIVE IN. It will do no good for anyone. It damages the viewers, those that love them, and everyone involved.

Thanks for letting me share my story. Keep fighting!

– M.


The story above is just one of thousands of personal stories we receive from people all over the world who have had their life negatively affected by pornography. Facts are facts: porn is harmful to relationships. Countless studies have been done, showing the correlation between porn use and decreased satisfaction in yourself, your partner, and your relationship as a whole. It’s sad, but it’s true. Research has found that after men are exposed to pornography, they rate themselves as less in love with their partner than men who didn’t see any porn. On top of that, another study found that after being exposed to pornographic images, people were more critical of their partner’s appearance, sexual curiosity, sexual performance, and displays of affection.

Any relationship is extremely threatened when porn is brought into it. We don’t say porn kills love just for the fun of it. It’s the scientific truth. Those who have experienced this first hand tell us how they feel like they need to do more to please their porn addicted partner, that they don’t feel like enough. Porn creates the illusion that there is always someone sexier out there and that sex is just a game to play. Not true. Healthy people expect their intimate relationships to be built on trust, respect, honesty, and love. When that person finds that their partner is watching porn—which typically glorifies the opposite: disrespect, abuse, aggression, and infidelity—it can only damage that relationship.

What You Can Do 

Spread the word on the harmful effects of pornography. SHARE this article to raise awareness that porn kills love.

Source: www.FightTheNewDrug.com

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